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National Anti Abuse and Violence Awareness

Anti Abuse and Violence Awareness and Prevention

 Part 2 of Domestic Abuse or Violence is a perfect topic for October, because it  is National Domestic and Abuse Awareness Month.
However, this is a topic to be address all year long – Every. Single. Day.
Every minute a child, a woman, a man is affected by this horrible circumstance at the hand of another. This is part 2 in my series. Remember that men, women and children can all victims. Be aware of what others may be trying to tell you with words or actions as a cry for help.
To begin, continuing with information from the Multi Faith Leaders Conference, it is important to understand HOW a person gains control or exercises dominion over another. This chart helps explain how this is possible and the ways it can be done slowly over time also. The language here is for a woman being abused, but remember that men are also and it is never ok, nor acceptable, in any form or manner.

Recognizing Power & Control vs. Equality Domestic Violence Wheels

Created by Domestic Abuse Intervention Project, Duluth, MN

When Violence IS Used

 Abuse 6

This is how a healthy NON VIOLENT Relationship SHOULD Work

Abuse 7

    If you suspect abuse who do you report to:

  • Any Law Enforcement Agency
  • Any Peace Officer
  • Nearest Division of Child and Family Services (DCFS) office

What do you report?:

  • Victim’s name
  • Victim’s age/date of birth (if known)
  • Victim’s current location
  • Victim’s home address (if known)
  • Allegation/concern

   ***It is very important to look after those who are vulnerable and cannot speak for them self; such as the very young, the elderly, etc. It is wise to use judgement when reporting an incident to have the facts and information so that the victim is not victimized more in the legal system or by the one(s) who are harming her in the first place. Some accusations or allegations generate cases that involve law enforcement, more than quickly than others might. These underlined types most often involve law enforcement.

  • Physical Abuse
  • Sexual Abuse/ Lewdness
  • Child Endangerment
  • Domestic Violence Related Child Abuse
  • Emotional Abuse
  • All Types of Neglect: Physical, Environmental, Medical, and Dental.


What can you look for if you suspect someone is being abused?

Signs of Physical Abuse

  • Unexplained burns, cuts, bruises or welts in the shape of an object (belt, stick, hand, etc.)
  • Bite marks
  • Anti-social behaviors
  • Won’t interact with others
  • Seems withdrawn
  • Problems in school
  • Displays fear of adults
  • Hyper-vigilance, shows characteristics of ADD/ADHD

Signs of Sexual Abuse

  • Inappropriate interest or knowledge of sexual acts.
  • Nightmares or Bedwetting
  • Drastic changes in appetite
  • Over-compliance (goes overboard in trying to please) or excessive aggression
  • Fear of a particular person or family member
  • Suddenly refuses to participate in physical activities
  • Becomes pregnant or contracts an STD (particularly under age 14)
  • Runs away
  • Seductive behaviors


Signs of Emotional Abuse

  • Apathetic or passive behaviors
  • Depression
  • Hostility or stress
  • Lack of concentration
  • Eating Disorders (severe weight loss or rapid weight gain)
  • Age inappropriate behaviors (parents other children or is extremely immature


Signs of Neglect

  • Unsuitable clothing for weather
  • Dirty or other hygiene issues
  • Extreme hunger
  • Apparent lack of supervision
  • Frequently misses school
  • Begs or steals food or money
  • Lacks needed medical or dental care

Environmental Neglect & Child Endangerment Includes

  • An environment that poses a threat to the physical health or safety of a child
  • Cited DUIs with children in the vehicle.
  •  Homes where there are lab paraphernalia, chemicals for manufacturing of illegal drugs, access to illegal drugs, distribution of illegal drugs in the presence of a child, or loaded weapons in the reach of the child.
  •  Giving children illegal drugs or substances, alcohol, tobacco, or non prescribed/ not recommended medications for that child.
  • Involving a child in the commission of crimes, such as shoplifting.

  It is so important that we are aware and looking out for those that we live by, associate with, go to school with, work with and that our kids play with. We may be the ones that can make all the difference in the life of another. There is a site, Loveisrespect that is a fabulous resource for a wide range of questions and information regarding those who are being abused and want help, those who want to help someone who they suspect/know someone is being abused, as well as those who are the abuser and want to quit. At the site, there is a Chat line. A Text line. A Call line.
In fact, an amazing amount of knowledge to help you and others all at the site, click HERE for a direct link 
Copyright Carrie Groneman, A Mother’s Shadow, 2015, 2017
Recognize a blessing and be a blessing today 
Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at


  • It is so sad in this day and age we still have to worry and real with all sorts of abuse, but do appreciate you sharing the signs here and the important reminder, as well. Can’t thank you enough and wishing you a wonderful week ahead now! 🙂

  • Carrie,
    Thank you for bringing awareness of abuse and describing what it really is and what to do about it. I pray that everyone who is experiencing abuse will find this post or someone who cares about them will find it.
    Thanks for sharing!

  • Tasha says:

    You are doing a wonderful job of bringing awareness to domestic abuse, Carrie! As you mentioned, this is definitely a subject that needs to be addressed on a regular basis.

  • Jess says:

    You always write the best posts. So insightful!
    Thanks for joining Cooking and Crafting with J & J!

  • Melinda says:

    Carrie, thanks so much for writing about this important topic. Keep up the awareness! We all need to be alert, and constantly praying.

  • Nikki Frank-Hamilton says:

    Carrie, this is so noble and awesome of you to share your knowledge on this subject. Often times we may get the feeling that something is wrong, but we don’t know what it is. This helps us to figure out if there may be abuse. I have heard from people that have elderly in a care facility to watch for these signs also, not always can our loved ones talk, but if we notice them becoming severely withdrawn, depressed or scared of a care giver, there may be an issue. Thanks for opening our eyes, we need to care for our neighbors on this earth. xx

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