Why You Should Only Wear Your Own Nylons

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This is a story about nylons and the unexpected lesson I learned from them many years ago.

If you have never worn nylons before, they are sheer, close-fitting leg wear that usually cover from the waist to the toe. They are also known as pantyhose and there are many different materials that are used to make them. One of the many types of nylons is shapewear, and that’s what this story is about.

Years ago, shortly after my fifth child was born, I was self-conscious about my figure – or you might say, my too-much-of-a-figure. I would like to blame it on the fact that all five of my children came ‘through the window’ as we call cesarean births around our house, but many other women have c-sections, lots more babies and still somehow manage to look like models.

My mother happened to call one day when I was really beating myself up for having rolls of ‘baby fat’ that were not on the baby. 

“Why could I not have forty pound babies because then I would only have to lose five to ten pounds,” I whined to her.

Moms are always vigilant to try to ‘fix’ everything, so she told me about some very special nylons. These were ‘magic’ and would suck it all in, though I kept wondering where it all went; it is a law of physics you know that matter has to go somewhere. She said she had an extra brand new pair and would put them in the mail immediately. 

The package came a few days later, containing the magical accessory. I decided I would wear them to church the next Sunday, hoping this would solve my issue of wanting to continually compare myself to every other woman in the building. I’m not proud of it, but as humans, we all have moments of insecurity and vanity. 

Sunday morning came, and as I took the nylons out of the new packing I couldn’t help but notice that they looked extremely small. This was further demonstrated by how difficult they were to put on. I pulled and tugged and stuffed ‘as much as I could but I still struggled to just get those things up to my waist. 

I called mom to ask her if this was how they were supposed to be. She reassured me that yes, that’s why they were ‘magic’ and would make me look amazing.

I headed off to church shortly after managing to pull them up to my waist.

At the time, I happened to have the job of conducting a group of adults and children through music time, talks, and so forth.

About halfway through the allotted time, I walked to the front to announce more of the outlined program as I had been assigned to do.

As I stood in front of the group, all of a sudden I felt a snap of sorts and realized the ‘magic’ nylons had lost their battle with my waist… and the waistband was now at my thighs!

I knew I could not move, much less sit down again or the nylons would drop even further.

As the chorister came forward to lead the group in singing and the pianist began to play, I sidled over to the piano and stood with my knees tightly together, while also trying to keep my feet apart to appear natural-looking, terrified anyone would realize my nylons were threatening to come all the way down to my ankles!

Next, it was time for the talks.

By now everyone in the room was looking at me, some with a bit of confusion or maybe some annoyance at the fact that I never sat or moved from the piano which was towards the back of the room, even when I announced the next item on the agenda. 

Mercifully the hour came to a close.

I dismissed everyone with a forced smile and waddled away like a penguin. I’m sure that got some laughs, but my focus was on getting to the restroom so I could remove these supposedly magic nylons as soon as possible!

I called mom that night and told her what happened. She was laughing so hard she was crying. She just kept telling me that they had worked so well for her.

And then it hit me. They worked for her. My mom is maybe 5’ 2” on a good day and I am 5’ 10” – the nylons simply were not designed for me or my body.

From that day till now when I start to compare myself with someone else, I try to remember, ‘she just wears a different size of nylons’.

All nylons perform similar functions and can be useful, but distinctive brands, colors, types, etc. are necessary for different needs.

We all have the capacity to love, nurture, help, encourage, do good works and serve, just maybe in a way that is unique and wonderful to us.

With all my heart I believe we are all here at this time for a very special purpose.

It is our goal to find what we need to learn and how to be better while remembering that we wear nylons that fit our situation, circumstances, and life at the moment.

No one is the same, nor meant to be.

Let’s embrace our exceptional and irreplaceable personalities and be a bit better today than yesterday.

 

Copy­right Car­rie Grone­man, A Mother’s Shadow, 2013, 2022

Rec­og­nize a bless­ing and be a bless­ing today