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Asking and Answering to High School Dances

Help with knowing what to do for a High School Dance

Be sure to JOIN and get your Dance Asking, Answering and even a kind No Thanks Printables that are editable/fill-in!


    Part 1

    Does the thought of a high school dance cause a slight panic attack?

    Dating asking and answering

    Dating asking and answering

    Does your head start to pound with questions like:

    • Who will I ask?
    • How will I ask?
    • What if they say no?
    • What if they say yes?
    • What will I wear?
    • Where do we go to eat?
    • What will I say?
    • How do I act at dinner?
    • What do we talk about?

    I remember lying on the gym floor as my date asked me if he should take someone else to the dance…….


    Yep, it really happened.
    I’ve always had issues with my knees dislocating and giving me problems, BUT THIS!
    Our gym classes were held in the armory where the National Guard held their drills on the weekends. It also served our small high school with a large enough space for sporting events, assemblies, and as I mentioned the gym classes for both boys and girls; girls on one side of the gym and boys on the other.
    Me being tall, I was designated to ‘Jump-for-the-Ball’. As I came down I landed wrong, ending up in a total dyslocation of my knee cap. I’ll spare you the ugly details, you can look it up.
    As I lay there waiting for the ambulance, my prom date, who had asked several weeks in advance (yeah….. I was flattered, I’ll admit it) came over to see what was going on.
    Surveying the rather unpleasant situation, realizing the prom was about a month away, he sat down beside me on the cold gym floor and asked:  So, do you think I should ask someone else, you know, just in case you won’t be able to go?
    What happened?
    Well, I was off crutches by the dance and we had a great time at the prom.
    So back to the dance that YOU are thinking about going to, or are committed to since you’ve already asked someone, now…..

    Dating asking and answering

    Dating asking and answering

    WHY GO?
    Back to our dance topic.

    1. If you are still deciding –
    2. Some say it’s not a big deal, they never went and were a better person for it—-hmmm, that’s ok and great!
    3. Some of my kids went to a few, and some went to dozens of them at several high schools all over the area.
    4. Either way, they met so many new people, gained new friends and still call on those people for opportunities for jobs, advice and look for ways to help them out too. 

    Going to some dances myself, having five kids go through public schools and dozens and dozens of dances between them, I look back and I see only positives to going.
    IF, now there are IF’s to this.

    • Here’s where I’ll give you some tips for success.
    • Of course, there will be some that are really fun and memorable; meaning you will remember them with fondness.
    • And there will be some that might be a dud……but life is like that.
    • At a dance, you have experiences in a setting that is formal. It provides the setting for the occasion to act and behave as you would in a very nice business atmosphere; there are other benefits come from this type of experience as you mature in your attitude. Again IF you are there with proper motives.
    • Make sure to carry out the dance, the activity, and everything AFFORDABLY!!! There’s no reason not to, just be creative! HERE are some ideas


    • Definitely ask someone who shares your same values and morals. This keeps you safe in many ways. 
    • I wish I could help you understand that  what/who seems ‘popular’ now it really doesn’t matter a day after high school graduation. Ask someone that is interesting, who has something going for them (meaning they are trying to better them self in some way) is kind and has values. They can be popular and have these qualities no doubt, but don’t base your choice on what others think. Ask your parents for their advice. 
    •  Look around and ask someone who may not have ever gone to a dance, or has never been asked to a girls/boys choice. This can truly be life changing for the other person, letting them know they are valuable and wanted in a group. Then treat them as such, never as a ‘charity case’ became the only reflects badly on you. 

    DANCES Ideas for asking and answering for High School Dances

    •  Ask with a puzzle. Put it together, flip it over and write on the back, then take it apart and put it back in the box with a note that a question or the answer is ‘in the box’. In chalk, on the driveway, draw and write a cross word puzzle to ask or answer. Write the asking or answering, cut it up and put each piece in a different balloon. Fill each balloon with helium or just blow up for the person being asked to pop.
    • Using trail reflectors, send the person on a ‘bear hunt’, with waypoints (can even have pictures of bears) for different clues that lead to the end question or answer. Have cinnamon bears or a teddy grahams or a toy at the end or at way-points.
    • Make an excel spreadsheet. At each correctly answered test question, a letter will appear. The letters spell out the question of asking or the answering.
    • Bake a key in a brownie or cake. Give the person being asked, or answered, the brownie or cake and a locked box. The key opens the box with the answer or asking inside.
    • For a guy asking a gal, give (have it doorbell ditched or left in the home) a doll with the note: How about getting all DOLLED up and going to the dance with me?
    • A note with a stuffed bear/gummy bears /cinnamon bears: “I’d be BEARY happy to go to the dance with you.” Or ‘I’d be BEARY happy if you would go to the dance with me.”
    • With a treat of any kind: “It would be a TREAT to go to the dance with you”, or “It would be a TREAT if you would go to the dance with me.”Candy bar poster to ask or answer. Candy in place of certain words on a poster.
    • Send the person being asked or answered on a scavenger hunt going thru a neighborhood, the mall or to different homes (be polite and prearrange with the people who are kind enough to be involved), gathering clues along the way with a treat and message at the end.

    Be sure to JOIN and get your Dance Asking, Answering and even a kind No Thanks Printables that are editable/fill-in!

      Saying NO – You can’t go
      • If you must say no to someone who asks, I recommend you do it in a kind way. I have a few printables for that also.
      • When you are asked by someone and maybe it’s not the person you wanted to, it’s a only right to say YES to the FIRST person who asks you (unless there is a very, very good reason not to).

      Because it reflects on you and your character. If you don’t, it would say to everyone that you are only interested in going out with popular people or being seen with a certain crowd. This states loud and clear that you are shallow and immature. While in fact you are limiting your circle of friends and possibly missing out on some amazing friendships that could last for years.
      I do have some tasteful and fun ways to say NO if you must, or if you have already been asked to the dance, in the download of printables.
      Copyright Carrie Groneman, A Mother’s Shadow, 2013, 2018

      Recognize a blessing and be a blessing today.

      Pictures courtesy of Pixabay

      Wondering what to do on the date? How to act at dinner, and the dreaded….conversation… head on over to part 2, then 3!

      Part 2:  It’s Time For The Dance And Anxiety Has Arrived!










      Part 3:  Help Me! It’s Time For The Dance, Now What Do I Do?

      More Teen Interests:







      • Diane Roark says:

        This posts is truly packed with information every teenage high school girl should know. Thanks for sharing!
        Diane Roark

      • I can totally see why this is your most popular article, because wow it is jam packed with some great advice for both teens and parents, too about going to dances. My girls still have some time with this, but still totally pinning to refer to for them in the future. So, huge thank you Carrie to you and your daughter for putting this one together 🙂

      • Great posts!
        Stumbled, pinned and tweeted.
        Diane Roark

      • My co-worker told me how her daughter was asked out to Homecoming this year, and it seems like boys have to be much more creative in asking girls out to dances than when I was young! You have some great ideas!

      • Jess says:

        Haha…what a cute post! 🙂
        Thanks for joining the Link Up this week!

      • [email protected] better way to homeschool says:

        Really great advice!

      • Rachel says:

        I love, love this article! Thank you for mentioning the modesty thing and kudos to that young man who treated the girl like the bell of the ball. We always hear (and sometimes see) poor behavior out of teenagers and your stories and advice give such hope and inspiration. Thanks for sharing on Merry Monday!

      • Kimberly says:

        Beautiful girl! Perfect post. Pinned. Lou Lou Girls

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